Sunday, March 30, 2008

Meatless in the Land of Steak

I've developed the habit of walking around in grocery stores when I'm stressed. I don't necessarily even buy anything — usually just an apple and a Diet Coke, or a container of queso cremoso (a delicious processed spread that tastes like a cross between runny cream cheese and Laughing Cow cheese wedges). But it's just enough like home that it generally calms me down.

The bigger stores are set up like any grocery store in the United States, with produce, meat and dairy around the edges and processed food in aisles in the center. The food itself is different in tiny, telling ways that never cease to fascinate me. Fruit and vegetables tend to all be grown in Argentina, so there are a lot of apples and almost no berries. (It's the beginning of fall here.) It makes me realize how much I'm used to being able to get imported fruit in any season from anywhere. Also, even the tiniest stores almost always have an entire aisle devoted to yerba mate tea leaves in dozens of varieties and flavors, and at least 10 different brands of dulce de leche. Raisins are sold with the seeds still in them, and milk is sold unrefrigerated in boxes and bags. Also, no one refrigerates eggs.

And, right now, the meat aisles in every grocery store I've been to in the last week — somewhere around five — are completely out of meat. The refrigerated meat cases are all empty, usually with white sheets over them, like furniture in an abandoned house. Sometimes there's a package or two of week-old chicken or some sausages, but most often there's just nothing.

The reason for the lack of meat is that today is the 19th day of the paro del campo, which translates literally to "strike of the countryside." For the last two and a half weeks, Argentine farmers have stopped selling food to protest an increase in export taxes. (There is no real conceptual translation into English, because the idea that every farmer in the entire country would just stop producing food is pretty inconceivable in the United States.)

To be completely honest, I don't exactly understand what's going on. But the highways all over Argentina are blocked to keep any strike-breakers from transporting food secretly, and there are daily marches throughout the country — including on the street outside the residencia — complete with banners and people banging plastic drums. I think most producers of agricultural products are participating in the strike, and the meat is just the first to run out because it has such a short shelf life. I went to find milk yesterday and I couldn't, so that might be the next to go. The newspapers are filled with pictures of rotting piles of fruit and vegetables, and I've heard that flour and soy are also being blocked.

No one seems to know how long the strike is going to last. The president, Cristina, has made several public speeches announcing her refusal to negotiate with the striking farmers, which of course made them reiterate their determination to hold out for as long as it takes. In theory, I'm in support of the right to strike, but I hope this is over soon. For one thing, sources of protein are rapidly drying up. (Nicky, when you stop hating me, you can appreciate the severity of the impending crisis!) And more importantly, grocery stores are my therapy right now.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

UBA: The Beginning

Yesterday I got official approval for my course schedule from the Yale study abroad office. (Once again, fantastically unhelpful — the e-mail from my study abroad advisor said something like, “Yeah, I guess those classes look fine, or whatever.” I really hope the credits actually transfer.) Anyway, that means my classes are essentially set.

My schedule is split down the middle, with two easy and boring classes and two that are hard and interesting. The easy-boring ones are a Spanish-language speaking workshop and an Argentine literature course at FLACSO. (The literature class itself is actually pretty good, but it’s all CIEE kids. I’m not all that excited about going all the way to Argentina to take a class with Americans).

The hard-interesting ones are both at UBA, a massive jumble of a university that I am completely, stupidly in love with. One of the classes, Analisis de las practicas sociales genocidas, is in the social sciences school, and the other, Literatura Latinoamericana II, is at Filosofia y Letras (affectionately known as Filo y Letras), the school of humanities.

My UBA classes are in two different buildings with distinct personalities but a shared atmosphere of bohemian intellectualism. (UBA is scattered in different buildings all around the city — the social sciences school alone has four different facilities). The social sciences school, which is close to the residencia, is in a hot, crowded four-story building. Getting to class involves pushing through the students gathered around the front door smoking cigarettes, waving away the handfuls of fliers announcing protests for everything imaginable that get thrust at me when you walk into the entrance hall, and walking three stories up a staircase papered with handmade posters announcing more protests. The staircase gets so crowded with other students that the traffic sometimes stops dead.

Most of the desks in my Genocidas classroom are broken, and the professor is fifteen minutes late without exception. The walls are covered in graffiti dominated by anarchy symbols, liberal political slogans, and stenciled rats whose significance I still haven’t figured out. There's a bathroom right outside, but there’s never any toilet paper, and three out of five of the stalls don’t have doors. Of the two that do, one of them doesn’t stay shut, so you have to get someone waiting in line to hold it for you.

The Filo y Letras building is similar, but bigger. It’s on the outskirts of the city, an hour-long subte ride from where I live. The walls have slightly less graffiti than at the social sciences building, but just as many posters and fliers. On the first floor a makeshift marketplace, where people sell cookies, coffee poured from thermoses, and books, lines the hallway outside the classrooms. I can’t tell if the vendors are regulated by the school or if they just show up and claim a spot. I’ve already learned to wear as few clothes as possible to class, since the combination of massive crowds and no air conditioning makes the classrooms feel like D.C. in August.

It sounds kind of awful. But somehow, even though it's totally overwhelming, I always leave UBA feeling excited and energized. The students are all really political and overtly intellectual. The dirty bathrooms and flaking plaster on the walls don’t feel gross — it’s just that no one has time to worry about mundane concerns like toilets and paint when they’re debating the possibility of representation through literature.

I haven’t even talked about the classes yet, partly because I haven’t been to enough to really get a handle on what they’re like. To be continued once I stop gaping at everything going on around me for long enough to actually pay attention.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Eating and Sleeping in Uruguay

Got back at around 8:30 this morning from a spring break trip to Uruguay. (Never mind that I’ve only been in school for two days.)

On Wednesday night, Reva, Rona, Melinda, Daniel, Ashley and I got to the bus station at 10:30 for an 11:30 bus. It was chaos — hot, confusing, and so crowded it was hard to walk from one end of the terminal to the other. Since yesterday was Easter, most Argentines get Thursday, Friday and today off work, and everyone travels.

But by about 12:30, it became clear that part of the reason for the chaos was that all the buses were late. Not only was there no sign of our bus, there was also no indication of when it would get there. The woman at the ticket counter couldn’t tell us which gate the bus would leave from or guess whether it would arrive at the station in half an hour or two hours.

When the bus finally came at around 2:30, I had half-convinced myself we would play cards on the floor of the bus station until the morning and then go home. The ride itself was uneventful, and I slept the whole way.

Thursday five of us stayed in Montevideo, while Ashley went to her father’s summer house in the town of Jauriguiberry. Ashley’s family is Uruguyan, and while she lives in Connecticut with her mom, her dad lives in Uruguay. On Friday we joined her.

Jauriguiberry is a tiny town on the Uruguayan coast with a beautiful white-sand beach, two almacenes, the “Yacht Club” (a dive-y bar with two pool tables and lots of whiskey), and not much else. Ashley’s father, his girlfriend and her daughter live in a one-story, six-bedroom house two minutes off the main road (dirt, like all of the roads there). Next to the house is an open-air kitchen and dining area.

Including us, there were 16 people — and three dogs — at lunch on the day we got there. Some of Ashley’s aunts and uncles had stopped by to visit, and her family also had guests spending the weekend. Ashley’s dad’s girlfriend cooked canelones, a traditional dish in Uruguay and Argentina made of some sort of stuffing (in this case, choclo and ham in a white sauce) rolled in a flour-and-egg wrapper. They’re something like a cross between Italian cannelloni and enchiladas. They were delicious.

Saturday we left Jauriguiberry and went to Punta del Este, where Ashley’s mom has a beach house. The city of Punta is the Uruguayan equivalent of a Florida resort town, with dozens of high-rises lining the beach and a main street crammed with casinos and shops selling bathing suits that cost more than our entire trip. Ashley’s house is about 20 minutes outside of the center of town, on a quiet street off the main highway.

That night we had an asado, or barbecue, with ribs, steak, chorizo, eggplant, onions, zucchini and red peppers stuffed with eggs, all grilled slowly over the coals of an outside asado. Ashley manned the grill for two solid hours. She might have looked funny (she’s a five-foot, hundred-pound girl with three tattoos, a nose ring and a brand-new lip piercing), but she did an amazing job.

All six of us ate, as Ashley said, until we felt sick, and then we ate some more. It was easily one of the best meals I’ve ever had. Partway through dinner, Ashley’s cousin came over with some of her friends. Even though we were so busy stuffing our faces we completely ignored all the guests, more people came, until there were probably about 20 or 30 people. The plan was to have drinks at Ashley’s house and then go out dancing, but somehow we never moved past the having drinks part. Other than one guy who tried to start a rigged game of strip poker and then gave up and stuck a banana down his pants (which someone subsequently ate for breakfast), everyone was really friendly, interesting and easy to talk to.

I went to bed at 6 and slept until noon. Yesterday, I ate ice cream for breakfast, went to the beach and fell asleep again on the sand. It was basically the perfect weekend.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Shock Cultural

Before I came to Argentina, I got advice on what to expect from a million sources, and most of it was the same. From the guidebooks: Be prepared to eat lots of red meat. Expect piropos. Dinner doesn't start until 9 pm at the earliest. From former study-abroad students: UBA is a glorious, disorganized mess. Everyone has a mullet. Argentine women are skinny as hell.

All of these things have proven to be true. But in addition, I've run into other things that no one mentioned, little quirks of Argentine culture that people take for granted here. Here they are, before I forget that they're not what I think of as normal.

Coins — A national change shortage has led everyone to hoard coins. The bondis, or buses, only accept coins, so people need them to get around, but there just aren't enough. (Daniel said he read in the Economist that the bus company is actually manufacturing the shortage so they can resell coins to shop owners at a markup.) At stores, cashiers will ask you for exact change, and when you don't have it they give you a dirty look before handing over the 50 precious centavos they owe you from your 2 peso note.

Air Conditioners — Most people have external air conditioning units on the fronts of their apartments. They drip onto the sidewalk, so for the first week or so I was here I thought it was constantly raining. Then Molly told me that the dogs in her host family pee off the balcony. Now I'm never sure if it's condensation from the air conditioning or dog urine dripping constantly in my hair.

Beer — Beer is served almost exclusively in one-liter bottles. It's possible to get it in a 330 ccl-size, but when you order it, the waiter always looks at you like you're a hopeless lightweight.

Coffee — There's no such thing as coffee on the run here. Everyone drinks it, all the time, but it's treated as a sit-down mini-meal, usually in the late afternoon, to tide you over to dinner at 9. Cafe, the standard drink, is actually what we think of as espresso. It comes in a doll-sized cup, always with a shot glass of seltzer water and some tiny cookies or a piece of a pastry. The few occasions I've managed to find that sell coffee in paper cups to go (at McDonald's and a few other chains), it's served on a tray, and you're clearly expected to drink it at the restaurant anyway.

Cell Phones — While it's possible here to get monthly or yearly plans like people have in the United States, another popular option is to just buy a cell phone and pay for minutes with prepaid phone cards in units of 10, 15, and 20 pesos. Since you can't get a monthly contract that lasts less than a year, I'm using the prepaid option. Phone calls are incredibly expensive — I don't know how expensive, exactly, but it's easy to run through a 20 peso card in three or four conversations — so everyone communicates by text messages. I sometimes send and recieve 20 or more text messages in a day. I have to really like someone (or really need to talk to them) before I actually call.

Kioscos — A kiosco is kind of like a cross between a 7-11, a CVS, and that car in the second Harry Potter book that's enchanted so that it can comfortably fit about 20 people and all their luggage. From the outside, they look like glorified vending machines, with a window facing the street where you can order a soda or buy a candy bar from the ones on display. (Some of the bigger ones also have a section inside with computers connected to the internet or a place to make photocopies.) But the person in the window has a magical ability to produce almost anything you ask for, from a $2 bottle of wine to toilet paper to prepaid cell phone cards to coffee. A friend told me about how she asked a man at a kiosco where she should go to buy blank CDs, only to have him pull one out from behind the counter.

There are a million other strange little things that I'm just beginning to accept as mundane, but these are the ones that came to mind. In a few hours, I'm getting on the bus to Uruguay, which doubtless will have even more unexpected customs to confound me.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

My Argentine Nights

Dad sent me a link this morning to the New York Times article on how cool Buenos Aires nightlife is. It was well-timed. Last night I went out clubbing with Daniel, Molly, and Karen, and didn't get back until 6 am. (Actually, I think it was 5 am, because clocks moved back an hour, but even so, it was a lifetime record.) When I don't eat until 11:30 and hit my first bar at 2, it's easy to look at my watch in the middle of dancing and realize that, if I were in San Francisco, I would be waking up pretty soon.

Nightclubs here, called boliches, are inexpensive, lavish and enormous, but somehow less intimidating than the handful I've been to in the United States. Nothing really gets started until after 1 or 2 am, and things reach their peak at 4 or 5 in the morning. Most of them have entrance fees around 30 pesos, or 10 USD, but if you get on the lista (a process that I don't really understand involving submitting your e-mail address via the club's website) then you can get in for free before 2.

The club I went to last night, called Amerika, is either a gay-friendly straight establishment or a straight-friendly gay establishment, depending on who you ask. It cost 40 pesos to get in, but there was a canilla libre, or open bar, with all the cheap, grenadine-spiked champagne you could drink. And, even more exciting, free bottles of water. (Again, Dad, this might not be a Grandma entry.)

Before we went to Amerika, we met one of Daniel's friends at a gay bar, where Molly, Karen, and I probably made up half the women in the crowded room and the ladies' room was deserted. Amerika was a far more diverse crowd — maybe about 50-50 gay-straight. (I could be totally off, since I generally have a terrible gaydar in the US, and it's way worse here.) There was also a solid showing of drag queens in various stages of hormone therapy.

The dance floor is in the center of the ground floor of the club, with a table in the middle and giant screens all around. The screens alternated between flashing the name of the DJ, the words "Desperate Houselovers," and a movie of a bodybuilder flexing. Nicky would have been thoroughly alarmed. I loved it — mostly because I kept imagining his reaction.

To either side of the biggest screen, two minimally-clad dancers wriggled around on little balconies. Women in bikinis on the left, and men in thongs on the right. The club also had a second floor made up of interlocking balconies, with another dance floor, a lounge area with couches, and — my personal favorite — a long, dark passageway where people go to hook up. (Don't worry, Mom and Dad. I walked through that area quickly.)

The cumulative effect was one of an exuberant bacchanalia, but the fun thing about Argentine boliches is that you can control your level of engagement pretty easily. I spent a fair amount of time sitting on a couch on the balcony and people-watching. I danced a little with Molly and Karen, but by the time we left the dance floor was just really getting going.

I woke up this morning far too early with a sore throat from talking over the music and the uncomfortable feeling that I was going deaf in one ear. The club scene is a little too intense for me to partake in all that often. (Although, come to think about it, I was out until 4 on Thursday.) But I think I can say with some authority that (to quote the Times) the "behemoth gay discos" really do keep people up till sunrise.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Kosher McNificas and Water Chicken

I didn't have any classes to fall asleep in yesterday, so I went to the Recoleta Cemetery with Molly, Daniel, and Michael (3/4 of the group I went to Rosario with).

The cemetery is like a mini-city enclosed in a walled-off block in the ritzy neighborhood of Recoleta. It's filled with hundreds of stone and marble masoleums arranged in rows, with passages through them like roads. The main areas are clogged with tourists, but things get deserted pretty quickly. Since the recession a lot of once-wealthy families have lost all their money, and while some of the masoleums are still kept up, others look like they haven't been touched in years. The glass in the windows is broken, layers of spiderwebs cover the locks, and plaster flakes from the ceiling inside. The effect is excellently creepy.

After the cemetery Molly and I went to the Abasto shopping (the Argentine word for mall) to eat at the Kosher McDonald's there. We met Karen there, the other 1/4 of the Rosario group. All three of us are extremely Gentile.

One of no less than seven McDonald's in the mall, the Kosher McDonald's is also the only kosher one outside of Israel. No cheeseburgers, obviously, and presumably the fries aren't fried in weird beef fat like the ones at a regular McDonald's. Other than that, and the profusion of yarmulkes, it seemed pretty standard.

(That's right, Nicky. I ate at a McDonald's. It's okay, though. I felt appropriately guilty.)

Last night I went over to Molly's cousin's house, where I ate some more. Sometimes I think all I do here is eat and sleep. Not that I'm complaining.

Dinner started off with wine and a plate of cheese, olives and sausage. Then it continued with more wine, grilled chorizo, plantains, salad with cheese and avocado, rice, chimichurri, zucchini salsa, and water chicken, a recipe that Molly's cousin proudly told us involves putting a chicken in a dish with water and cooking it until you remember that it's in the oven. It was slightly more complicated than that, since he also cut up an apple and an onion and put them around the chicken, and covered everything with honey and soy sauce. It's something I definitely have to try myself when I get back to a kitchen. Molly and I volunteered to help in the cooking and apparently destroyed the plantains by flattening them before we fried them, but they tasted fine to me. I ate two helpings of everything.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

No, Konex isn´t a Tampon Brand

Woke up way too early today for my first class (Argentine Literature) at la UCA, the private Catholic University in Buenos Aires. When my alarm went off at 6.30 it was still pitch-black outside, thanks to the accidental daylight-savings time being observed in Argentina this year. (I totally don´t understand that. How can an entire country accidentally decide to set its clocks forward an hour? I think I´m probably missing something.)


Anyway, I´m not going to be taking the class. I wanted to study Argentine literature while I was in Argentina, but I started falling asleep after fifteen minutes. The next hour and a quarter was pretty much torture. I´m not usually a sleeper, especially on the first day of class, but I definitely woke myself up more than once when my head jerked down.


The boringness is actually kind of a good thing. I really didn´t want an early class on Tuesday mornings after last night. I went to a drum concert at Konex, a cultural center in the Almagro neighborhood, which happens every Monday night. I plan to become a regular.


Melissa, a girl at the residencia, needed someone to go with her to the concert. She was meeting a guy whose number she had gotten at a club over the weekend, along with a few kids from FLACSO. I agreed to go with her for lack of anything better to do. It was a good decision. We got there at around 7.30 last night to find hundreds of Argentine twenty-somethings in skinny jeans an mullets hanging out in the street outside. No one seemed like they were in any rush to go in. Michelle and I bought a liter of Quilmes for a dollar and drank it on the street while we waited for the FLACSO people and watched the crowd. Most people were sitting on the sidewalk, talking and smoking cigarettes. The women were all impossibly thin, with sideswept bangs and torn leather sandals. The men had long hair and day-old beards, and looked like they probably kept a copy of Marx on them at all times.


Eventually, we went inside. The cultural center is in a converted factory. For the concert, everyone stood in packed courtyard surrounded by old industrial warehouses, listening to about 10 drummers on an elevated stage in the center. The atmosphere was relaxed and mellow, and it reeked of pot. After about an hour, a trumpet joined in the music, but mostly it was just the drums.


The concert cheered me up about Buenos Aires in general, which I needed. I found out yesterday morning that I can´t go to Patagonia if I want to take Filosofia y Letras classes at la UBA. BUt things look better this morning. I just hope my second class of the day, Contemporary Spanish Literature, is more interesting than the first.

Monday, March 10, 2008

The Second Stage

When we first got here, the program coordinators told us that, like grief, study abroad has several stages. In the first ¨Luna de Miel¨stage everything is new and exciting and perfect. In the second stage everything is impossibly foreign and you start to hate the world.

I think I might be entering the second stage. This weekend had its highlights, but overall it was frustrating and strangly exhausting. Friday I went to a Chabad dinner with some girls from the residencia. The rabbi who spoke was from New York, and even though he was speaking Spanish and had a beard down almost to his belly button, it was easy to picture him walking down the streets of Manhattan. Prayers took two hours, and then dinner took two more.

It was my first Chabad, and I liked it, but my migraine came back partway through (I think because there was nothing to drink with dinner) and by the time it was over I just wanted to sleep.

Saturday during the day I went to a park with the same group of people. We drank wine and ate cheese on the grass until it started raining. Then we sat in a tree to escape the rain and talked. It was definitely the best part of the weekend. That night, though, a big group from the residencia tried to go out to a boliche to go dancing, and all 40 of us got turned away at the door. I went with a few girls to get gelato in an effort to rescue the night, but I got a gross flavor and still ended up grumpy.

And the little frustrations keep building up. I don´t start classes until tomorrow, so when I woke up this morning, I was planning to go to the suburb of Tigre for a day trip. Then I looked once more at my class schedule and realized that I´m taking two classes on opposite sides of the city at exactly the same time. Right now I´m at FLACSO trying to change that. But no one gets to work until 11, apparently -- except for the program director´s assistant, who just told me there´s probably nothing I can do.

Here´s hoping the second stage passes and I can move onto the third: the humor stage.

Friday, March 7, 2008

The Wisdom of the Argentine Youth

Orientation is finally over. Parts of it were helpful, but overall it was a phenomenal waste of time. Yesterday's "Workshop on the Youth of Argentina" was especially useless, although it did have some redeeming comic value. Some of the gems imparted to us clueless Americans are:

1) Don't be afraid of dancing with an Argentine boy in a club. It does not necessarily mean you're expected to have sex with him, marry him, and have his babies.
2) Don't be afraid of catcalls. They aren't always a prelude to a physical attack.
3) Don't be afraid of making friends with boys. Boys and girls can be friends! Even in Argentina!
4) Argentine women are just as independent as Argentine men. Some of them even have jobs and boyfriends at the same time!
5) Don't be afraid to say no to sex.

Apparently, Argentines think Americans are afraid of anything related to sex. Not that that assumption is entirely unfounded. But really. It was like a dumbed-down version of seventh-grade sex education with Ms. Knapp.

(By the way, Dad, this might not be an entry that you want to send to Grandma.)

Last night after the workshop FLACSO funded a "cultural outing" to a bar near the residencia for hands-on application of the lessons learned. I'm still not clear on the cultural aspects of lots of free beer, gross pizza and conversations in English with other Americans. But it was fun. And thanks to the workshop, I wasn't afraid to dance with Argentine boys.

I didn't dance with Argentine boys, but it was because I was playing flip cup with Americans, not because I was afraid.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Classes (Yuck)

I´m trying to decide what classes to take. The classes at UBA, the big public university, are supposed to be insanely hard (tons of reading, grades that change depending on the professor´s mood), but they look the most interesting.


So should I take Twentieth Century Literature or Latin American Literature II? Or go really crazy and take Folklore? Will I get into my class on genocide? (And why is it that even here the poli sci classes are completely oversubscribed and impossible to take if you´re not in the major?) These are the questions that have been keeping me up at night. No, really.


I´m also taking a class on Argentine Literature at the Catholic school, which is not as good as UBA but much easier. I don´t actually want to kill myself with work.

Monday, March 3, 2008

"Hitler Died in Argentina"

Saturday we spent wandering around Rosario. It’s somewhere between a small city and a large town, but it felt tiny after Buenos Aires. It was disarming to be able to walk literally everywhere in under an hour. (In BsAs an hour will maybe get you to the next neighborhood.)

It rained on and off all day, but we still probably walked about three or four miles. We went to a museum that smelled like mothballs and old furniture that was set up like a 19th-century mansion, and to the apartment building where Che Guevara was born. Refreshingly, there wasn’t even so much as a plaque to identify it.

The highlight of the day was probably the planetarium, where we saw two consecutive shows. The first was called “Las Diferentes Caras de la Luna,” and described how the moon and the sun were forced to end their romance when God placed them on opposite sides of the earth, sending the moon into a depression from which she has never recovered. The second one, about how black holes are formed, was considerably less terrible. I fell asleep in both.

That evening, we went to make reservations at a restaurant we had tried to eat the night before. The five of us walked into the main dining room to ask about dinner. After taking down our names, the owner asked us if we had ever “seen the place.” None of us knew what he meant, but when we said no he offered to give us a tour.

It turns out that the restaurant was in the “Instituto Martin Fierro,” a historical society and museum about the history of Rosario. The owner took us into a back room, where he gave us wine to try and showed us an armadillo skin mounted on the wall, along with gaucho boots made from horse leather that were so old they has started shredding. In the next room he showed us a helmet from the early 1800s, his brother’s helmet from the war over the Falkland Islands, and what he said was General Rosa’s mate cup.

Just when we were recovering from the surprise of going to a restaurant and ending up in a guided tour of a museum, the owner said, “Have any of you ever seen a crocodile?” When we said no, he called two boys from the back of the building. A few minutes later they entered carting a massive dried crocodile skin on their shoulders. Then the owner brought out some “salsa criolla” (a salsa with garlic, olive oil, tomatoes, onions and herbs) for us to eat while we pet the skin.

When we came back a couple of hours later for dinner, the dining room was starting to fill up with people. The owner greeted us like we were his favorite people in the world and snatched away the menu the waitress has placed on our tables. He explained to her that he had us taken care of.

He wasn’t kidding. The meal started with a platter of three different kinds of sausage (including black, squishy blood sausage, which didn’t taste nearly as grotesque as it looked), olives, French fries, cheese and empanadas, served with a Malbec wine that the owner chose himself. It was followed by a green salad and two giant slabs of grilled pork covered in a thin, crispy layer of fat and some salsa criolla.

As we were eating dessert, the music started. The first man who came on sang and played folk songs on his guitar. He was followed by a duo of an older man and a younger boy —I think they were father and son. The boy, whose guitar was covered in Che cutouts, was incredibly good and made me miss Nicky. After their set, someone from the restaurant came onstage and introduced us as the guests of honor, making us go around the table and say where we were all from. Then first man came back and played Eric Clapton’s “Wonderful Tonight” in Spanish (“Maravillosa Hoy”) after dedicating it to us.

We finally left after 2 am, having paid $20 each, including tip, for the meal and the concert combined. When we got back to the hotel, the guy behind the desk was waiting to inform us that Hitler died of old age in Argentina in the 1980s.

I didn’t think it was possible, but Rosario makes Buenos Aires feel normal. I might not even know how to order a cup of coffee in this city, but at least here restaurants are restaurants and the people at the front desk of the residencia limit the educational instruction to helping me use the phone.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

OVNIs

Last night I left FLACSO and went with a few other kids from the CIEE program to the Buenos Aires bus station, where we got on a bus headed for Rosario. Until yesterday, I had never even heard of Rosario, but it's the third biggest city in Argentina.

The five of us arrived at the Rosario bus station around 11.30 at night with no idea where we were going to stay. First we went to a hotel recommended by one guidebook, only to find it completely shuttered. The recovery from the economic crisis has been slower outside of Buenos Aires, and a lot of buildings are empty here.

After a little bit of wandering, we found an open hotel recommended by another guidebook. The rooms were described in Lonely Planet as "spacious but airless," but at this point it was past midnight and we we getting pretty desperate. The man behind the counter was really friendly, although a little bit too excited when Daniel, one of the people in our group, told him he was from Roswell, GA. He didn't seem to understand that Roswell, GA is different from Roswell, NM, and proceeded to tell us that he was Martian and really interested in aliens.

But when he offered to show us some rooms before we made a decision about the hotel, we accepted. The first room he showed us was so alarming I was tempted to continue wandering the streets in search of a better option, despite the lateness and the fact that I hadn't eaten since an empanada at noon. It had a high ceiling and three neatly made beds ... and smelled like an old lady's closet. There was paint falling from a mold growth on the ceiling, and two dead cockroaches on the floor. But the second room we saw was much better, so we checked in and went to get dinner.

Three hours later, we came back tired and a little bit drunk off cheap wine. Having slept less than four hours the night before, I wanted desperately to sleep. But the proprietor had other ideas. As he handed over the keys, he told us how much he liked Americans. That isn't really something you hear a lot abroad, so we were friendly and thanked him for the compliment.

Then he went on to tell us his opinions about every race and nationality on the planet, as we stood there awkwardly. It started harmlessly enough. He likes the Dutch, and the English. The Brazilians, too, especially the women, who are really attractive. Then it started to get racist. Japanese people are polite and well educated, but the Chinese are loud and stupid. When Chinese people come to the hotel, he tells them there isn't room. And don't even get him started on Africans. They're dirty.

And then, as the five of us stood there trying not to look at each other, he somehow switched to telling us about the aliens that live in the lake in a neighboring town. I managed to hold it together until he began to explain how they power their ships with hydrogen extracted from the water. I kept imagining trying to describe what was going on to a person who wasn't in the room, and I burst out laughing.

It was a mistake, obviously. He stopped talking to all of us and started talking just to me. Can you see the wind? No. Can you see electricity? Of course not. But they exist. And so do aliens. Dogs can see them. So can horses. Apparently I'll understand when I'm older.

Finally, we escaped, and barely made it around the corner before we fell over laughing. But we weren't murdered in our sleep last night, or attacked by cockroaches. And there was free coffee and croissants this morning included in the $10/night charge. So I'm going to consider the hotel a success.