OVNIs

Last night I left FLACSO and went with a few other kids from the CIEE program to the Buenos Aires bus station, where we got on a bus headed for Rosario. Until yesterday, I had never even heard of Rosario, but it's the third biggest city in Argentina.

The five of us arrived at the Rosario bus station around 11.30 at night with no idea where we were going to stay. First we went to a hotel recommended by one guidebook, only to find it completely shuttered. The recovery from the economic crisis has been slower outside of Buenos Aires, and a lot of buildings are empty here.

After a little bit of wandering, we found an open hotel recommended by another guidebook. The rooms were described in Lonely Planet as "spacious but airless," but at this point it was past midnight and we we getting pretty desperate. The man behind the counter was really friendly, although a little bit too excited when Daniel, one of the people in our group, told him he was from Roswell, GA. He didn't seem to understand that Roswell, GA is different from Roswell, NM, and proceeded to tell us that he was Martian and really interested in aliens.

But when he offered to show us some rooms before we made a decision about the hotel, we accepted. The first room he showed us was so alarming I was tempted to continue wandering the streets in search of a better option, despite the lateness and the fact that I hadn't eaten since an empanada at noon. It had a high ceiling and three neatly made beds ... and smelled like an old lady's closet. There was paint falling from a mold growth on the ceiling, and two dead cockroaches on the floor. But the second room we saw was much better, so we checked in and went to get dinner.

Three hours later, we came back tired and a little bit drunk off cheap wine. Having slept less than four hours the night before, I wanted desperately to sleep. But the proprietor had other ideas. As he handed over the keys, he told us how much he liked Americans. That isn't really something you hear a lot abroad, so we were friendly and thanked him for the compliment.

Then he went on to tell us his opinions about every race and nationality on the planet, as we stood there awkwardly. It started harmlessly enough. He likes the Dutch, and the English. The Brazilians, too, especially the women, who are really attractive. Then it started to get racist. Japanese people are polite and well educated, but the Chinese are loud and stupid. When Chinese people come to the hotel, he tells them there isn't room. And don't even get him started on Africans. They're dirty.

And then, as the five of us stood there trying not to look at each other, he somehow switched to telling us about the aliens that live in the lake in a neighboring town. I managed to hold it together until he began to explain how they power their ships with hydrogen extracted from the water. I kept imagining trying to describe what was going on to a person who wasn't in the room, and I burst out laughing.

It was a mistake, obviously. He stopped talking to all of us and started talking just to me. Can you see the wind? No. Can you see electricity? Of course not. But they exist. And so do aliens. Dogs can see them. So can horses. Apparently I'll understand when I'm older.

Finally, we escaped, and barely made it around the corner before we fell over laughing. But we weren't murdered in our sleep last night, or attacked by cockroaches. And there was free coffee and croissants this morning included in the $10/night charge. So I'm going to consider the hotel a success.